Wednesday, November 14, 2007

Forgive and Forget?

People tell me I’m too nice sometimes. Actually maybe most of the time. I’m not saying I’m an angel or anything like that. I just forgive a lot. Even if people did really mean things or they hurt me so bad. I forgive them eventually. I know I’ll never forget what they did to me. But I forgive them anyway.

And when I see these people, and sit with them and talk to them. It’s like nothing bad ever happened between us. It’s like what happened was just a dream or a really, really distant memory that might have happened or might have not.

I just realized that we feel most hurt by the people we love and care about. I never cried or lost sleep over an acquaintance or over someone I barely even knew. Because I couldn’t care less about these people.

I cried and cried and cried... I got depressed and got over it... I got mad, angry, and then calmed myself down. Over who? Over the people that I care for so much. I would give them anything if they asked me. I would give my life to them if they needed it.

Time heals all wounds, I know. I don’t think there are wounds that are left open. In time, they’ll go away. But maybe there’s a scar left to remind you. And that’s what I have in my heart. Just scars, never wounds.

Just reminders. But never resentment.

This lady thinks she’s too forgiving. Dammit.


grey said...

I used to do that , but my goodness was grossly violated and left me scarred for the rest of my life . Did i forgive ? Yes i did ... Did i forget ? No ! it will be foolishness of me if i let them hurt me again !

chikapappi said...

Hmm.. Being nice is not a good quality anymore.. people take advantage of that.. Just let it go, do not have to forget bas do not blacken your heart over it.. Life & time heals everything girl..

Anonymous said...

Oh you sound like me! and Thanks for writing that, I am now in a hurtful situation. I agree, I forgive too. Sometimes i say sorry when THEY should be the ones apologizing. I am pathetic but it's the way I am. I think words affect me so easily. If you say something bad to me, I would cry and cry and feel like its the end of the world. And come you saying sorry and all is good. Still, there are moments i remember what was said, it doesn't make me hate you or like you less, but I feel the hurt and wish I could forget it.

Hasan.B said...

Hmm I read alot of forgive and forgot post in the past few months, every one is talking about it. And where is your famous line at the end of each post? This lady....?

abdvllah said...

Yeah I used to have this - problem?- as well. I was to good to people, but now I've learned who deserves to be treated good and who doesn't.

This Lady said...

grey: i know. it will be foolish. that's what my next post will be. i need advice.

chika: ur right. but i like being nice. even though i like being mean sometimes!

shayouma: i used to be called crybaby at home! shasawi itha ana sensitive!

hasan.b.: u got it! check the post again. i wrote the post on a whim. the words just came out. so i didnt put my little "touches". i'm glad somebody noticed!

abdvllah: i wish we all had that ability.

Anonymous said...

mmm sounds like me I often forgive and forget very quickly giving people a chance to stab my back again...I guess this is life!

N. said...

It is those we love that hurt us the most, isn't that true? Also, there is a different between being too nice, and being foolish. One is where a person gives too much, with no consideration for what the other wants, regardless. The other is where a person gives a lot, maybe not everything but just enough and always to please. I dunno if its clear :/ Regardless, being too nice isn't such a bad thing, you don't have to change that, you just have to expect that sometimes the things you do will hurt, and that is OK because you care about someone.

This of course doesn't apply if the care and love isn't mutual. I'm talking more about family bonds here, which are much stronger than relationship bonds. I really hope what I said made sense, It is early here.

This Lady said...

u definitely make sense N.

but me too i was referring to family and friendship bonds, not relationships.

Anonymous said...


Bes you have to put your foot down at some point!

Marzouq said...

I am probably the same thing as you, I don't hate anyone really, I just move on and I forgive.

The way I think about it is that I really don't have any ill intentions towards people even if they have done something bad towards me. I just turn the page in move on, doesn't mean we might be friends or might not see that person again even if they were close. When its family you work things out, but with friends even very close friends you just see where time takes things.

Just keep your wits about you and don't trust everyone so easily, that is what I have learned.

This Lady said...

Ah what can we do.. sometimes i think my heart is made out of ice-cream! so easy to melt!

WendyB said...

I can be too forgiving as well. Some people really take advantage of it and I always worry I am being a doormat. I'm actually relieved there are a few people I will never forgive for their least I'm not a pushover 100% of the time!

This Lady said...

me too! i'm afraid of being a doormat..