Lady Mary Jones Thinks I'm Stupid

I received this very funny email from Lady Mary Jones. Well, I guess she thought I was an actual "Lady" and wanted to scam some money from me. But Gmail is a smart motherplucker, and knew that Lady Mary's scam email, was in fact SPAM, and that's where it was delivered. Only to be flushed out of my email in one click.Spam Mail can be so funny sometimes, and since I was bored, I decided to read the 'interesting' ones for some giggles.

"Lady Mary Jones maryjones@yahoo.co.uk

Hello!

I have been waiting for you since to contact me for your Confirm able Bank Draft of $800.000.00 United States Dollars, but I did not hear from you since that time. Then I went and deposited the Draft with FEDEX EXPRESS DELIVERY, West Africa, I travelled out of the country for a Months Course and I will not come back till end of January. What you have to do now is to contact the FEDEX EXPRESS DELIVERY as soon as possible to know when they will deliver your package to you because of the expiring date. For your information,I have paid for the delivering Charges, Insurance premium and Clearance Certificate Fee of the Cheque showing that it is not a Drug Money or meant to sponsor Terrorist attack in your Country. Again, I would have paid for the security keeping fee but they said no because they don't know when you will contact them and in case of demurrage.You have to contact the FEDEX EXPRESS INTERNATIONAL with the following information

First name:
Last Name:
Telephone/Fax number:
Nationality:
Age:
Occupation:
address:

CLAIMS AGENT: MR Terry Smith
Email
Address:fedex007@live.com
Telephone:+2348054998544

there and know when it will get to your address. Let me repeat again, try to contact them as soon as you receive this mail to avoid any further delay and remember to pay them their Security Keeping fee of $250.00 US Dollars for their immediate action.

You should also let me know through email as soon as you receive your Draft.

Yours Faithfully,

Mrs.mary jones "

Tsk, tsk, Lady Mary. You could have come up with a better story than that! You're a freakin' lady for that matter. Use your women's intuition. I could come up with 100 better scams. But I don't kiss and tell.. *wink*

Souq Al-Mubarakiya

Yesterday, I went with my family to Souq (also written as Souk) Al-Mubarakiya. For those of you who don't know what it is, it's an old Kuwaiti market that sells all sorts of traditional clothes, accessories, homewares, kitchenware, and some other stuff too. There are fruit stalls and a (very stinky) fish market as well. There are also some out of place modern stores like phone shops and electronics, but the majority is antique/vintage or just plain traditional. It helps that the architecture and decor of the place is old fashioned.

Anyway, we had a lot of fun and lots of laughs and lots of pictures.. Despite the creepos who were ogling and following us around until I threatened (by telling my mom, knowing they would hear me) to take their pictures and give them to the police. We also bought some unnecessary items but who could resist the dirt-cheap prices! There were a lot of great things, but you know me, I have to put the interesting - funny - ones here, which are items from a "Women's Stall".

Bad Hair Day? Extensions aplenty! Blondies don't worry, there's something for you too.

Highlighted hair? Here's a ponytail for you.

I can has eye infection?

There are lots of colors to choose from. I love how someone just abused that turquoise shade.

For those days when you just 'lost' it, take a long hot shower with 'Virginity Soap'. Might I remind you that it's 'Women*Special'. Tough luck, men.

And just for giggles: visit Kuwaiti Ruin Home for 'entics' and Remaining Pieces. Umm.. okaay? I think they mean Kuwaiti Home for Antiques and Ruins. Close enough.

Excellent Blog Award

I know that it's an honor to be nominated. But it's a hell of an honor to WIN!!

My lovely blogger friend Grey, such a sweetheart, was awarded the Excellent Blog Award. He then passed this award on to a couple of other bloggers. I'm not going to list them because it's MY DAY. MINE MINE MINE!

You can check the list of Grey's winners here. I guess its customary to pass this on to others. Dammit. I'll do this later. In the meantime, it's time to PAAARTAAY!

Thanks for this, dude. You really lifted my spirits ;)

Technical Stuff

How annoying is this stupid blogger bar up on top? Since Blogger.com decided to add Arabic, Hebrew and Persian to their list of language preferences, everytime I visit my blog or if someone visits mine, they get the black bar on top (where you can sign in) in Arabic.

Just because I live in Kuwait does not mean that I prefer that bar to be in Arabic. They're not doing me any favor there. Does anyone know how to solve this thing? Do you see it in Arabic or English?

Oh and if you're feeling depressed, the ads above might be of some help to you since they seem to have caught up on my last topic (my Heath Ledger post).

Mourning Heath, Myself and Everyone Else

I’m crying so hard I can’t help it. I can’t help but feel sorry for the poor guy. His life must have been torture if he had to resort to drowning his sorrows in antidepressants and sleeping pills. Being a celebrity is a double-edged sword. If it doesn’t kill you, you’re going to kill someone with it. (I don’t mean that literally of course. Metaphorically)

Deep down, I don’t think he committed suicide. I believe it was an accidental overdose, since the guy was embedded in so much work and The New York Times interviewed him recently and he said that he doesn’t sleep because he has so much work to do, and he’s been prescribed sleeping aids. The guy probably mixed prescription meds with other illegal drugs (if he had any).

Making excuses doesn’t help anything, I know. What’s done is done. But it just really gets to me when I hear or read about stories like this. The man was in his prime! He was riding the highest wave of his career. He has a 2 year old baby! He was a brilliant actor!

This is not the first and definitely not the last Hollywood death of this type. As the cover reads (above) “A Gifted Young Star, A Tragic Old Story”. But I hate it when young people die from the stupidest causes. No matter how depressed you are, or how happy you are, you shouldn’t take things for granted! You think that by ending your life, or giving up that you’re doing something good. But no! You’re hurting people in the process. And those who think they are having fun and enjoying life probably think they can avoid death, but NO! THEY CAN’T! WE CAN’T! IT’S UNAVOIDABLE!

It’s so tragic that Heath, like so many other young stars before him, had to leave the world this way. I am a firm believer in God’s will. I believe everything happens for a reason. We might not know why he left this world so soon, but there is an explanation for everything. Time only can tell. But no matter what I believe in, pain is pain. Time only can heal it. Time.

Is it weird that every time somebody dies I worry if they’re going to go to Hell? Its weird right? It freaks me out too. Is it sad that I cry every time I hear about a young/youngish person’s death? Is it bad that I sometimes get angry at God for taking away these precious lives? I feel like s**t for even thinking that. But again, I can’t help it.

Please, people, think about every action you take. Live life to its fullest. But not it’s craziest/dumbest. We’re all going to die one day. But if I’m going to die, I’d prefer dying peacefully and without causing pain for my family and loved ones and cause them to think “What if..?” their whole lives.

I’m feeling so depressed. I’ve been crying for hours. I think I’m crazy because I’m crying over someone I don’t even know. Isn't the cover (above) just gorgeous? I'm rambling.

It doesn’t help that my blog ads are promoting help for Arthritis and Abdominal Aortic Aneurisms (whatever the hell that is).

Image via perezhilton.com

24 Going on 60

I’ve been having some knee pains lately. I cant bend one of my knees, it hurts like hell. So I went to the doctor to get it checked. He performed some tests like bending and pulling my legs. Then he decided I should get X-rays as well. I brought back the X-rays, he hung them up on the ‘lighted board’ thing and stood there shaking his head and “Tsk-Tsk”-ing. I felt my heart sink, I thought there was a tumor or something!

He turned around and gave me a frown. I fake-smiled. It turns out that my knee pain is due to the loss of cartilage and fluid in my knees. Something that happens to OLDER people. He said it happens to people in their 60’s, and that it shouldn’t happen to someone my age at all! He gave me medication to help maintain what I have left, and possibly grow more of it. He also said I need physiotherapy and that I should exercise (which I rarely do) and not gain any weight because its bad for the knees.

I wanted to cry! I have 60 year old knees! Not only that, but I am a candidate for Rheumatism and Arthritis too.

To add to that, I have poor eyesight and I need to get Lasic surgery because my eyesight keeps declining due to some weird type of stigmatism. I keep procrastinating the day of the surgery because I’m too lazy, and I’ll miss my computer :(

Another lovely Oldie feature I have is my wonderful gastrointestinal problems. I always suffer from heartburn. I can’t eat onion or garlic because it does wonders for my stomach. My stomach also reacts according to my mood. When I’m sad or stressed, my stomach gets bloated like I’m pregnant. I need to do a gastroscopy and colonoscopy, the latter now way - I don’t want them to stick a tube up my butt, so PASS.

That’s it ladies and gentlemen. This is a small peek into the wonderful healthiness that is me!

Next up: Menopause and in not time at all, NO TEETH!

Image via worldwaronecolorphotos.com

Just Because I'm Nice

I read an article in a magazine about a girl who made millions off her blog. Why? Well, for one thing she had great content and many readers. But how did she make all that money, you ask? She added the Google Adsense feature to her blog. Simply put, Adsense allows ads to appear on your site or blog, and every time someone clicks on the ad, you get a certain percentage, and I think that for every 1000 clicks, you get paid as well.

Anyhoo, I thought, wow! What a great way to make money! By just blabbing to your ‘imaginary’ cyber friends/readers, you can make mega-bucks online! I thought the Adsense thing was probably complex and hard to use. But I decided to give it a try.

It worked! I have ads on my blog now. And. They. Suck.

All I get is stupid ads about meeting ‘Sexy Arabs’ or ‘Meet Single Muslims’. How tacky! How not me! And definitely not for my blog! I reported it, and we’ll see how it goes. In the meantime, if you see those stupid-ass things, please don’t judge me. But if you wanna click on them, be my guest. You don’t want to be single forever, now do you?

Even though that part sucked, there is a nice feature. It’s that search thingy on the top, right below the header. It’s basically the same Google search engine as in the Google site, and it has an internal search as well. If you want to search for something I wrote in this blog, type it in the Search bar, choose ‘thisladysays.blogspot.com’ and click Search. It works. It’s fab!

I just checked my Adsense account to see how much I’ve made this week. I made $0.01. That’s one cent! Wahahahaha..

At this rate, this lady will make $1 after 100 days. Bill Gates is probably going green with envy.

Copycat

One of the most annoying things on THIS PLANET is a Copycat. I can’t stand them. I can’t look at them. I want to scream at them. Seriously, they just annoy the living crap out of me! Ugh!!

I was a victim of piracy. Yes I shall call it piracy. When you copy something without the consent of someone else, it is called piracy. I should get a copyright on the stuff I do. It’s just crazy! I’m going to refer to the copied one as “The Original” and the copier as “Copycat”.

My aunt once told me that one of the best compliments a person can get is when they are copied. I see the logic in that. But come on! Can’t the girl tell me that I look nice and move on? She has to copy my look/make up/bag/whatever??

Once a seriously deranged girl admitted to me that she tried to imitate my voice + way of talking. Umm... okaaay... I have a kind of unique way of talking. It’s not an accent or anything like that. just that my voice or way of talking is “unique”. But so is everyone else! Some people may like it, others hate it.

Another time, in college, I was wearing an outfit one day, and the next day a Copycat friend wore the EXACT SAME THING, down to the shoes! It happened so many times, I can’t even remember.

I have a great group of friends. I love them to death. I adore them. However, there are some individuals who just love to copy. If they see a handbag they like, they’ll run out and buy THE EXACT SAME ONE. It takes all the fun out of your purchase! I love you guys, and I want you to have the best, but it’s not fun when you copy each other. It doesn’t happen to me only, it happens to many others.

My other friends are really great when it comes to something they like. If they like something me or any of the other girls have, they’ll ask about it, and say “Is it ok with you if I get the same?” I do that as well. But that’s usually regarding a lipstick or a blush or a pair of shoes.

With other people, it’s not just about the clothes or accessories. If The Original likes to cut her hair short, the Copycat will always cut her hair short. But if Original decided to grow her hair, then so will Copycat. Copycat also copies Original’s behavior and eating habits! When Original diets, you can be sure Copycat will do the same.

I know a Copycat who copied Original’s babies’ names!! She also goes to stores and asks them what Original bought, and she’ll buy the same. She also bought the same king-size bed that Original bought for her bedroom. Talk about creepy!

Another Copycat asked Original’s friends what car Original drives. They told her Original drives a sports car, but now she usually has her driver take her everywhere. Copycat went so far as to demand that her husband get her a driver and a car. Then she coaxed her dad into buying her a sports car. And now she parks the sports car in the garage, and has her driver take her everywhere. This is an extreme psycho case. If I was Original, I would get a restraining order. NOW!

Ekh. I’m sick of talking about those crazy psychopaths. Just one word of advice to all you Copycats out there: GET A FREAKIN’ LIFE, WILL YOU?? You're acting like the scary psycho from Single White Female.

One of the best things in life is being original.

Trust this lady. She knows what she’s talking about. *wink*

Image via www.swapmeetdave.com

You Lurker!

Yesterday I read one of the funniest posts by Wendy Brandes. I'm not going to talk in great detail about it, because you should read it yourself here. By the way, Wendy, if for some unknown reason, your jewellery business doesn't do as well as you hope, you have a great career ahead of you as a comedy writer, stand up comedian.. or Coco's personal assistant.

However, I finally found a name for something that I do a lot of, which is reading blogs and not commenting on them, and the owner of the blog you're reading has no idea you exist. You're kind of like a stalker, only you don't have bad intentions (I hope), so therefore you are a "lurker".

If you like something that was said in a blog, comment on it! A simple "You're right" would suffice. You don't have to delve into a long discussion about it.

This brings me to another topic, which I was going to post about later, but what the hell. What is it with bloggers these days? I noticed that if I didn't comment on a specific blog for a while, that person would stop commenting on mine. Is it a case of "you comment on my blog and I'll comment on yours" kind of thing? I mean, I read blogs because they interest me, not because that blogger commented on my posts and therefore I should do the same to theirs!

So if you're a frequent reader of this blog, you're not forced to comment unless you really want to. I hope that you're reading this blog because you enjoy it, and not because I read your blog and commented on one of your posts. But since you're a frequent reader, this means that you LIKE WHAT I WRITE.

Pheeew... So glad to get that off my chest.

Oh and another thing, I'm kind of getting tired of thinking of good clinchers to add at the end of each post. You know the "This lady thinks blah blah blah"? So I'll only do it when I have a good line to write.

George Is In The Building!

George Bush and Condoleezza Rice have just arrived in Kuwait.

Welcome, guys. I know you have a busy schedule, but maybe if you're not toooo busy, maybe you wanna stop by this lady's house for some coffee maybe? No? How about a cup tea? Glass of water? Anything?

Anything??

Happy Islamic New Year!!

www.mycen.com.my/sightings_pics/moonrise.jpg

Did you know that today was the Islamic (Hijjri) New Year? I'm asking anybody who is Muslim - or anybody who lives in Kuwait for that matter.. Or even if you're non-Muslim and live out of Kuwait!

I'm embarassed to say that I just remembered that today was our (Muslim) New Year. I'm so ashamed I don't know about it, but I do know about other important global dates and historic dates of other countries. I know when France's independence day is, but I don't know when the Islamic New Year is.

It doesn't help that the Hijjri Calendar is based on the lunar system. Which means that the date changes (moves forward) every year. And it doesn't help that the media over here focuses so much on the Gregorian New Year (January 1st), and celebrates it on T.V's, radios, and everything else, but there's barely a mention of the Hijjri New Year.

Oh well, God willing, next year I'll remember it.

This lady wishes you all a great weekend and a very happy new year :)

Car Boot Sale at AUK

Just in case the poster is not too clear, the American University of Kuwait is having a Car Boot Sale on January 12, 2008. From 11 am - 4 pm.

This event is brought to you by the good guys of AUK's Marketing Club.

It's going to take place at the university's parking lot where participants reserve single parking spaces. They can either park their cars and sell things from their car trunks (hence the name!) or they can put tables in the parking space and sell things.

You can find:

• Electronics & Home appliances
• Home accessories
• Books
• Food/Baked Goods
• Clothes & Accessories (Designer Labels & Vintage finds, people!)

And much, much more!

This lady will be there, and so should you!

Wannabe Photographer

Pic: www.joplinglobeonline.com

If you have been a frequent reader of my blog, you will know that I only recently got a digital camera. Since then, I have been click click clicking anything and everything. Some of my photos are rubbish. But some are surprisingly pretty.

I've been taking photos of people, objects, nature and whatever else I find. I've tampered with my trusty Sony digital thingy, used all the options/features on it, so much that I think I qualify for a more professional camera now.

I was recommended a Canon SLR digital camera. Any other ideas?

All About Me (First Tag Ever)

It's my first tag!! Wohoooooow.. Thanks Grey!

*Do your closest friends have any nicknames for you? Yup. Many. But I can’t say them because then it’s obvious who I am ;)

*What would your ex-(boyfriend/girlfriend/spouse) say about you in one sentence? I don’t have one. But I like to think that if I did, they would still be crying over me.

*What is the greatest achievement of your life so far? I finished high school and college and I still have my sanity! And with honors too! I sound like a nerd, but I don’t care. School is a jungle!

*How should people think of sex in this, the 21st century? It should be intimate, passionate an monogamous! I repeat INTIMATE. Not something you should share with strangers verbally, physically or thru VIDEO!

*Where would you live if anywhere was possible? London. Or Paris. Any developed European city. I prefer London though.

*Is there a sex toy that you would endorse? NO. Sex should be with people.

*Is there a religion that's fulfilling for you and/or the masses? Yes, Islam, and it saddens me to know that many people have the wrong understanding of it.

*What inspires awe in your life's experience? When I achieve something I never ever thought I could do. It brings tears to my eyes! I’m so proud of myself!

*What was/is your best pick-up line? I don’t do pick-up lines. I receive them.

*What and when is the most potent emotion you've ever experienced and why? Depression. It was a result of someone’s death. It seriously almost killed me to know that someone I loved so much is gone and will never come back.

*On what occasions do you act self-absorbed or just plain selfish? I don’t remember actually. I wish I can say I’m never selfish, but that’s not true. I can say I don’t like it when people take my things. I don’t like to share my precious possessions! I’ll buy you another one, but don’t take mine!

*If someone assigned you a quest, or if you decided your own, what would you be looking to find? I don't do quests. I like them in movies or books only.
*If you had to choose between them, would you live in Hollywood, Washington D.C. or New York, and why? Hollywood baby! I wouldn’t mind New York either.

*Who or what makes you feel "whole”? When members of my family say or make me feel that they’re proud of me. It’s a great feeling.

*Where is your greatest opportunity for change? I think when it comes to my health. There are some major things to tackle!

*What do you consider to be the greatest opportunity for humankind? Learning to live in peace. The opportunity is there. But everyone thinks it’s too hard. It’s not actually. And many people are too selfish too. If animals can learn to live in harmony, why cant we?

*What surprises you about getting older? I always think I’m enjoying it, until I remember how fun it was when I was younger.

*What or who makes you feel younger or rejuvenated? The elder ladies in my family. They always make me feel like a baby!

*Where or when do you feel most alone? When nobody agrees with me, and I’m mad at myself and at the world, and I just want to curl up in bed and cry (which I do). That’s mostly PMS talking. Hate it!

*Where or how is society most ripe for change? When it reaches such a down low and people are sick and tired of it.

*Do you think of yourself as attractive to the opposite sex? Yes, I do. Call me vain, I don’t care. I beleive I'm attractive to women too!

*When or where do you feel the most free? During holidays when I have absolutely nothing to do!

*What is the greatest memory of your life to date? I always remember my high school graduation. It was an amazing day.

*Where and when did you find out who you really are? When I was 12 and my parents told me that I was adopted. No kidding, hehehe. Everyday I learn something new about myself. So there’s no specific place and time.

*How and when do you collect your thoughts and why? In the bathroom. Either in the shower or on the you-know-what. It’s so peaceful and quiet. Also, at night, in bed, before I go to sleep.

*If someone told you when and where you would die, what would you do immediately after being told? I would cry, because I always feel that I’m going to live forever!

*What are the best parts of being in love? Ask me again, when I actually experience it.

*What's your favorite libation (a drink offered to a god)? I would offer pomegranate (Rumman) juice. Cause it’s full of antioxidants and it’s yummy!

*What "life philosophies" have you adopted since you've become an adult? Plan for the future, but not too much. Because life is full of wonderful surprises ;) Parents are not always right, and high heels make all your outfits look better.

*How would you like to be remembered? This Lady: A great daughter, sister, wife, mother (inshallah), and an unconditional humanitarian. May she rest in peace.

I Tag Libitina, Fayoora, Mirim, WendyB

2008: The Year of Change

I shall call it, The Year of Change.

Yes, people, you heard me. 2008, God willing, will be a year of change for me.

I want to change a few things this year. No, this is not a resolution. I don’t do resolutions. Resolutions are promises you make to yourself before a New Year approaches. I don’t like them because if I don’t achieve the stuff on my list, then I’ll feel bad. And I have yet to meet a single person who accomplished ALL of their lengthy and beforehand prepared resolutions.

What I am saying, however, is that I shall try to make some changes this year, whenever they come to mind. I will try not to procrastinate, because I have a long to-do list that keeps on growing because I always delay. If I am successful, then hooray! If not, then no big deal. At least I tried.

So here’s a (glass of water) toast. To the Year of Change!

*echoes: To the Year of Change*

This lady is clink-clink clinking her glass.

Goodbye 2007, Hello 2008

Happy New Year everyone!

It’s been a few days since I last posted, but I wanted to take some time off to think a little, and just chill during this holiday.

I have so much to be thankful for. I’ve been healthy, happy and blessed the past year. There were some ups and downs, but that’s life of course. We can’t expect to be happy all the time can we? What we can do, however, is to train ourselves to be happy after we experience sadness. This is a rundown of some of the good things I did. Check it out below.

In 2007:

I made some great friends who I will remember my whole life.
I resolved some issues I had with an old friend.
I traveled alone for work for the first time in my life!
I strengthened my relationship with my family.
I make it a point to put family before anything else.
I started this blog! Yaaay!
I started writing again.
I started working on my very own business project.
I jumped into the dark part of the ocean!
I sped so fast on a jet ski and it felt good!
I sped in my car to 150 km/per hour for the first time in my life.
I finally got myself a digital camera. (I know what you’re thinking)
I read a lot of books.
I joined Facebook.
I learned how to make myself happy! Think positive everyone!
I overcame so many fears (the dark is one of them)
I grew herbs in the garden.

So, yeah. Last year was pretty good. Inshallah, God willing, this coming year will be just as good, if not better.

And on this happy note, I’d like to say

Goodbye 2007.. and Hello 2008..