Public Display of Affection

I was taking a walk in one of the streets in London, munching on a chocolate bar, when I came across a teenage couple standing in a doorway, their heads pressed together, arms stroking each others limbs (and more), and making these horrifying sounds! I actually blushed! All of a sudden I felt quite sick, like it was ME doing that!

Don’t get me wrong. I’m not a prude. I’m not against the occasional hug, squeeze or smooch in public. I’m not even against making out in public – though DISCREETLY. If this couple was doing their thing in a quiet alleyway with no passersby, then that would be a completely different story. I mean, it’s just not classy!

There are certain times for everything, I always say. And there are times when discretion is much more appreciated than public displays.

I noticed something these past few years, and that is that PDA is much more common in Europe than it is in the U.S. The whole world criticizes the U.S as an unabashedly open-minded culture, when they fail to notice that most European countries put America to shame. I’ll bet anyone 100KD if they could go through a whole day in London, Geneva, Frankfurt or Paris without seeing a make out session at least once.

And how can we forget the nudity! In France, the beaches are home to topless females wandering around with their partners and kids without a care in the world. Whereas in the U.S, most states prohibit public nudity except in certain parts that allow it (such as Strip Clubs, Nude Beaches, etc).

The question here is, what do you think about it? I don’t want to be a party pooper, but really, is PDA as exciting and fun as it seems? I’ve never tried it, but I’d like to find out one day! I’ve always believed that the secrecy and/or privacy that is included in a relationship makes it that much more appealing.. I mean, it seems giddily exciting if my partner will try to touch or kiss me in public, but we can’t do that. It adds to the allure and thrill of a relationship. Not to mention the adrenaline rush because you’re afraid someone might see you!

Amplifying the excitement factor is that we’re both enticed by the fact that what goes around behind closed doors actually stays there (one hopes!).

I’d like to hear what you think.

Because right now, this lady thinks that PDA ain’t worth all the hype.

Niseeb! Part 2

I’ve been “traditionally” proposed to a number of times. And in all those times, there was no one I felt any chemistry with. I don’t mind the traditional marriages, but I must admit I’m inclined to the possibility of love more than anything. I’ve never been in love, so I really want it to be something big, you know? Something special. I tried telling myself that if I got to know the “kha6eeb” for a while, I might fall in love with him, but I don’t know, it never felt right. He was either too old, too thin, too ugly, too strict, etc, etc. Maybe I was making up reasons too.

There was only one person who came close, but it wasn’t going to happen. Somewhere in between our mutual families, there was a kind of misunderstanding, and it was highly inappropriate that I should marry that man.

I believe in the positive energy of life. I believe that the right man is out there, waiting for me, just as I’m waiting for him. Sooner or later, we’re going to meet. If not today, then tomorrow. And if not, then the day after.. or the day after..or.. you get the picture right?

Then maybe we’ll get married, maybe not. Maybe we’ll live together forever, maybe not. I don’t want to sound pessimistic. However, life is a series of written chronicles, starting from the day we were born. I’m not going to chase after something that wasn’t written in my fate. I’m not going to dwell on the “what-ifs”.

I believe in fate, destiny, niseeb. If something is not meant to be, then it’s not meant to be.

But if it was meant to be, then that would be really lovely.

This lady is a strong believer in niseeb.

How about you?

Niseeb! Part 1

I decided to write this post after I read a recent Shosho’s Corner post titled Women & Age. She described women in the Arab World as if they are born with an expiry date. When I came to comment about the post, my comment was too long and so I decided to rant about it. This topic is so important to me, even though I don’t want it to be!

I wrote:“Why is it that we have an expiry date, whereas men have the longest shelf life ever?”
Women who approach their 30’s and the ones who pass the big 3-0 are categorized as “3anis” or the English version “spinster”. And of course once you pass 35, its like your world is doomed, and you will never find happiness ever! How tragic.

What the hell? Isn’t it better to be single and happy than married and miserable? I’m not saying that marriage is Dooms-Ville, but it’s also not always the best idea. Tradition dictates that girls should be rushed into marriage so that they are protected by a man, and saved from doing “wrong things”. Men, however, can marry whenever they want; even when they’re old, saggy and toothless.

I don’t want to be trapped in a loveless marriage just because it is more socially acceptable than being single and living with my parents.

I’m in my early 20’s, and I can’t tell you how many times I’ve been asked “Why aren’t you married yet??” by the elder women in my family.

Case 1:
Auntie F: Oooh Lady, You beautiful girl! You look lovely! Where are the men, ha?? Why cant they see such a darling girl?? I don’t know why you are still unmarried (in her words: “lail7een ga3da”)!
“Umm.. hello?? Do I look like a guy? Am I the one who proposes? No! So don’t ask!”

Case 2:
Auntie M: God bless you, my dear. And may He give you a good man to take care of you. I hope you don’t turn out to have the “bad-luck” of your mother’s great aunties. Oh, such bad luck with husbands!
*Blink. Blink.* “How encouraging”


Sometimes, I wish I was in India. I would have been married a loooooooong time ago. I would have proposed to every freakin’ guy I wanted! (Because the woman proposes in most Indian customs)

But I’m here, in Kuwait, where I must wait until I get the “best” offer from the “best” guy.

This lady’s guy is lucky if he even gets this lady!

(To be continued..)

Anonymous

Friend: Do you have a blog?
Me: No. Should I?
Friend: I don’t know. You look like a person who has a blog.
Me: Do bloggers have specific looks?
Friend: No, I mean you, as a person. I can imagine you as a blogger.
Me: Hehe.. Yeah, so I’ve been told. But I don’t have one.

I’m lying of course. Why?

For two main reasons only:

1. I prefer to remain anonymous, so that when readers read what I write, they are not influenced by who I am, what I am, or what I do. I don’t want my background, race or religion to be taken into consideration when reading what I write. I know that these things make up the person that is me, but I don’t want people to read what I write and interpret it differently from what I intended.
I write about issues that affect me, myself and I. I also write about social, political and global issues when they come to mind. However, somewhere in between, I might write about certain people, and how they have affected my life. Out of respect for these people, I never say their real names, and I prefer to remain nameless because I don’t want their identities to come to light.

2. There is only one person, and one person alone, who I’ve told about my blog. If anyone else comes to know of my identity due to certain events that I report that make it obvious it’s me who is writing, I wouldn’t mind. I just wish they would remain discreet only out of respect and nothing more.

I am very proud of what I write because it is a creation that only I can make, being that the words and ideas are from my mind. MY mind only.

There is nothing that I write that I probably haven’t already said or talked about to the people surrounding me. Often I am a very transparent person. And sometimes I may be a bit of a puzzle.

I hope this makes things clear for you, readers.

This lady is very grateful.

Atonement

Yesterday, I went to the movies, all by myself. I don't like going to the movies alone, because I like turning to the person next to me and complain/whisper/amaze/drool and so on..

So anyway, I went to see the film Atonement, starring Keira Knightly and James McAvoy, with an appearance of the legendary Vanessa Redgrave. I have to say that the movie was absolutely thrilling. It was exciting, beautiful, romantic and most of the time, very grave. I won't spoil it, just tell you the basic storyline.

The movie is an adaptation of Ian McEwan's novel Atonement and tells the tale of a young girl Briony Tallis, who sees something, interprets it wrongly, and makes a wrongful accusation which leads to many disastrous events in the lives of Cecilia (Briony's sister) and Robbie, the housekeeper's son.

The romance and lust in Robbie's character is almost tangible, and you feel extreme pain at the events that affect every character in the film. Saoirse Ronan, who plays Briony, amazed me with her magical acting abilities. James McAvoy will probably make every woman leave the theatre wanting him. His eyes, gestures and not to mention insanely brilliant acting, say it all. I was a bit dissapointed by Keira Knightly, though. She seems to have grown up as an actress, but to me, a brilliant performance is one where I forget that the person is acting. In between all the pouting and stiff body movements, there was a strong character in her, but all in all, Keira failed to make a beleiver out of me.

The movie is worth seeing if you like to watch fables that make you think. The music in the background and the sound of the typewriter will make your heart beat faster at times. The director and editors spun this movie brilliantly. Great possibilities for this film in terms of awards.

Note 1: There are sexual scenes in the movie. They are a CRUCIAL part of the film. So if you're in Kuwait, DON'T WATCH IT! You will definitely not get the point of the story.

Note 2: If you're a hopeless romantic (like moi!), remember me when you reach the library scene.*Sigh*

English Lit, Not Chick Lit!

I've been busy running around London, checking out different universities and their Masters programs. I'm planning to get my masters degree in English literature. It was a tough decision to make, mainly because I made a vow not to go back to university after I graduate, but hey, that's just me! But with Literature, the varieties are endless, and I just feel so alive discussing things like books and stories.. Its like gossip, but with an intellectual aspect to it! Yeah, I said it. I like gossip. What can I say? I'm a sucker for gossip, people!

I've always thought that English literature, among other things, was my calling. In fact, all types of literature are my calling. I'm not afraid to admit that I enjoy the occasional chick-lit novel now and then. Its simply one of my guilty pleasures. Romance novels are also a secret guilty pleasure as well, although THAT I hate to admit! Hahaha..

I prefer reading and writing in English. Many of the books I've read have been simply translated into English. I've recently read that Paulo Coelho, the popular international best-seller novelist (The Alchemist, Veronica Decides to Die), writes in his native Portuguese, and that his novels are translated into different languages.

Ever since I was in middle school, I would start writing rough drafts of my short stories on my then-huge-and-noisy desktop computer. But then, when I wanted to revise them, I would just get so overwhelmed that I would delete the whole thing. I still remember my first short story entitled "Mama".. I cried while I was writing it ( I wont get into that!)..

It makes me so proud to hear about novels that broke boundaries, whether they were by unknown writers, females venturing into new horizons, or maybe an Arab making it into the New York Times best seller list. Could that be me?

Maybe some day I will start writing, or shall I say, rewriting "Mama" again..

Who knows, maybe I might make it into Amazon's best seller list? Or maybe even The New York Times?!

This lady thinks that it's not too impossible.. Is it?

Bye, Bye London

London. The weather is beautiful. Cear, blue skies with a touch of sun now and then, and the occasional clouds moving together every so often. This is the London I know and love. The crisp cool weather and the collectively composed atmosphere in general.

The Khaleejis are gone. Well, the majority at least. Gone to spend their beautiful month of Ramadhan in their home countries, thank goodness. I don’t think I can take more of their loud roaring engines cruising down all the key streets of London. And not to mention the entourage of men and women walking around in all the department store. As if London wasn’t crowded enough!

Now don’t get me wrong. I am a khaleeji, Kuwaiti to be precise, and I’m damn proud of it. But it doesn’t make me any prouder to see these people act in the silliest way ever. Why should I ship my car all the way to another continent, just to park it in front of Harrods? Why should I wear a long floaty abbaya and shailah, if most of my hair is so visible to everyone, and my face is plastered with a scary amount of makeup? And my ultimate peeve is when most of these Khaleejis sit in the same cafes at exactly the same time everyday only to stare at other Khaleejis. You can do that in your own country for God’s sake!

I mean that’s just embarrassing. The same thing happens in Paris, Geneva and Spain. The majority of Europeans probably think that we travel to their countries carrying suitcases of money and credit cards with no limits. It gets to the point where the woman at Immigration (who stamps your passport) in the airport, told me “I’m sure you’re here for the shopping” and I replied “No, I’m here to study”, and she said “and to shop of course! Hahaha..”

This lady is not laughing.