Monday, October 15, 2007

Public Display of Affection


I was taking a walk in one of the streets in London, munching on a chocolate bar, when I came across a teenage couple standing in a doorway, their heads pressed together, arms stroking each others limbs (and more), and making these horrifying sounds! I actually blushed! All of a sudden I felt quite sick, like it was ME doing that!

Don’t get me wrong. I’m not a prude. I’m not against the occasional hug, squeeze or smooch in public. I’m not even against making out in public – though DISCREETLY. If this couple was doing their thing in a quiet alleyway with no passersby, then that would be a completely different story. I mean, it’s just not classy!

There are certain times for everything, I always say. And there are times when discretion is much more appreciated than public displays.

I noticed something these past few years, and that is that PDA is much more common in Europe than it is in the U.S. The whole world criticizes the U.S as an unabashedly open-minded culture, when they fail to notice that most European countries put America to shame. I’ll bet anyone 100KD if they could go through a whole day in London, Geneva, Frankfurt or Paris without seeing a make out session at least once.

And how can we forget the nudity! In France, the beaches are home to topless females wandering around with their partners and kids without a care in the world. Whereas in the U.S, most states prohibit public nudity except in certain parts that allow it (such as Strip Clubs, Nude Beaches, etc).

The question here is, what do you think about it? I don’t want to be a party pooper, but really, is PDA as exciting and fun as it seems? I’ve never tried it, but I’d like to find out one day! I’ve always believed that the secrecy and/or privacy that is included in a relationship makes it that much more appealing.. I mean, it seems giddily exciting if my partner will try to touch or kiss me in public, but we can’t do that. It adds to the allure and thrill of a relationship. Not to mention the adrenaline rush because you’re afraid someone might see you!

Amplifying the excitement factor is that we’re both enticed by the fact that what goes around behind closed doors actually stays there (one hopes!).

I’d like to hear what you think.

Because right now, this lady thinks that PDA ain’t worth all the hype.

22 comments:

eshda3wa said...

i hate PDA

intimacy should be intimate not for the rest of the world to see

like you said, a hug here or a kiss there is ok, but some people take it too far, and it aint a pretty site!

This Lady Says said...

Exactly. I don't know why they do it. I'd really like to know.

Blue Dress said...

LOL!. when you typed teenagers.
ya3ni what do you expect from two Full of shifting hormones hehe.

bes the thought, yeah i agree with you it shouldnt be like that.

Actually it even started here. bes so far you see it only in the movies "hear it" shame! how nothing stays privet anymore.

N. said...

That's inappropriate. I can't speak much for foreign countries, I am not from there, and it is not my home. However, even with that in mind, PDA is just wrong. It is not something that should be done in public, it is a private thing and should be kept in private. Some ppl have no shame! That's not good..

Shoush said...

I was at a resturant once with a friend and the table right next to us had a couple who were just kissing and kissing and kissing and KISSING! My God! Just get a damn room already! And their table was right next to ours and we're trying to enjoy our food and conversation, but that seemed impossible becuz of the distraction inches away from us. We cud see them from the tip of our eyes even when we didn't want to. I thot that was totally inappropriate and uncalled for. Seriously. A kiss or two is fine, but more than that is just disrespectful. And this was un Europe, which proves ur theory right.

Am not against PDA as in a kiss or hug that's publically appropriate, but even that has a time and place.

Shoush said...

..a time and place and LIMITS as to how far they shud go.

a Dreamer with feet on the Floor said...

in fact ,this Issue is not 2 discuss here ,as it happens in another Culture that has another Measurements 4 what is wrong and what is Right.where the Shame or Costumes R different.I lived In Frankfurt 5 years 4 my ph.D ...and I lived withen those Circumstances..those people do that as a routine and never get the Peak of joy that one get practicing the right Climate of...
as making so is very joyable just in case if there is Love and privacy...as we R not dogs..
U seem 2 B so hot 4 seeing that and wondering...Dreaming..wish U all the best ...wishing 2 communicate if U want 2..
landofy@yahoo.com

Marzouq said...

I think PDA isn't bad such a kiss or a hug, thats no problem. But a full make out session is annoying and I wouldn't want that when I'm sitting at a cafe or something.

You are 100% right, Europe is a lot more sexually active then the US. But the US is open minded in discussions or talking to them. That is the difference.

A relationship should be discreet 80% and a little PDA 20%, thats what I think. A healthy dose of affection is good.

Princess said...

as long as theyre displaying AFFECTION and nothing else i think its fine, but i mean like a discreet touch, kiss, or a hug is fine

This Lady Says said...

Shoush: It happened to me too at a restaurant. Seriously I couldnt eat! It was distracting and annoying!

Dreamer: Its true that we are different cultures. But PDA is a very modern issue because you will find that the majority of these "performers" are in fact from the younger generation.
Umm.. sorry but I don't understand what this means: "U seem 2 B so hot 4 seeing that and wondering...Dreaming"

marzouq: I'm glad to see that there's a guy who likes to show affection. usually Arabs are TOO discreet. ya3ni they wont even hold their wife's hand in public! Sad :(

Vixen said...

I agree.. in ny i didnt see any two people kissing or holding hands, they're so cold! a little hugging is nice but anymore is just *pukes*!

Jewaira said...

It is offensive when done in close proximity.

Discrete show of affection is so much more erotic and arousing.

I suppose it is an exhibitionist desire by those involved

3baid said...

"kissing and kissing and kissing and KISSING!"

LOOOOL at Shoush XD

Shoush said...

3baid: Lol, ya imagine! ;P

pinkeya said...

i have seen a related setuation.. but this time we were in a train going from Liverpool to London .. i was trying my best to read a novle but i couldnt consentrate becuz of the sounds awwww , so i said :" asta'3fer allah!" then my dad stod between me and the KISSING couple LOL

I am SO against PDA.

OneDeadCop said...

Im willing to bet any money that your all Americans, Ignorant bastards....If a country does it different then the good ol' US of A it must be wrong and evil.

Bite me...

OneDeadCop said...

Im willing to bet any money that your all Americans, Ignorant bastards....If a country does it different then the good ol' US of A it must be wrong and evil.

Bite me...

This Lady said...

Umm.. sorry I didnt understand what you said.

Anonymous said...

Well, it is Europe. My parents are European but I grew up in the states, so I see both sides. The point isn't wether or not Europe is more sexually active/sexually corrupted, but how the two cutulres think of displays of affection. Here, affection is thought of more as something private - something you do at a particular moment in time. You have to "set the mood," "look good," etc to have sex. In Europe, the attitude is a lot more casual. So you're sweaty from working outside all day? So what. Lets have sex because we want to. Same with public displays of affection. Most people in Europe simply don't think twice about it. Two people are together, get the urge to kiss... sometimes it ends at that, sometimes they end up making out. There really isn't any great philosophy to it. I mean, nobody makes a big if, say, you hum a song while in public. It's the same with affection.

Anonymous said...

I was just looking at pictures from a resent trip I took to Greece. I actually googled PDA to look for discussions on the topic. I guess I'm not the only one who noticed that PDA is much more common in Europe than it is in America.
Although, I found it uncomfortable watching it at the time. I now find my self missing that part of the culture. I think it beautiful that people aren't censoring their love, even if they are in public. I miss seeing people in love on the streets. I think it adds a romantic ambiance to a city.
There is a line that should be draw, between what is appropriate, and what is not...
I guess I just miss going to a coffee shop and seeing a couple touching nose to nose and just talking, and enjoying each other company. They love to be close to others. In America, we are guilty of having a bubble around us. Not letting anyone get too close. We put a stigma on showing love in public and I think it's sad.
I also don't believe that people participate in PDA because it an adrenaline rush or because it's risky, and people like the thrill. I like to believe that people are just that much in love, they can't go another minute without being close to their special someone.
We should all be happy for those in love, because it is a hard thing to come by. Seeing someone in love shouldn't bring feelings of discomfort or sickness. Seeing someone in love should bring joy and happiness, knowing that people do still care about each other these days.

Samantha said...

I always hated PDA until I began dating. I don't know what changed, but my boyfriend and I will hug, wrap our arms around the other, hold hands, kiss (passionately), and sometimes smack the other's butt. I don't feel like I am doing for others to see, but sometimes I just don't care. It's part of our relationship...we act this way when we're alone, it's just who we are and some characteristics tend to carry no matter where we are.
From a psychological perspective PDA can be seen as a territorial thing--a way of saying, "She's mine."

Honestly, sometimes I forget anybody else is around. It's just John and me.

However, do believe one can go too far but who is the judge of what is too far? Just because I believe something isn't right doesn't make it wrong?

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