Tuesday, October 9, 2007

Niseeb! Part 2

I’ve been “traditionally” proposed to a number of times. And in all those times, there was no one I felt any chemistry with. I don’t mind the traditional marriages, but I must admit I’m inclined to the possibility of love more than anything. I’ve never been in love, so I really want it to be something big, you know? Something special. I tried telling myself that if I got to know the “kha6eeb” for a while, I might fall in love with him, but I don’t know, it never felt right. He was either too old, too thin, too ugly, too strict, etc, etc. Maybe I was making up reasons too.

There was only one person who came close, but it wasn’t going to happen. Somewhere in between our mutual families, there was a kind of misunderstanding, and it was highly inappropriate that I should marry that man.

I believe in the positive energy of life. I believe that the right man is out there, waiting for me, just as I’m waiting for him. Sooner or later, we’re going to meet. If not today, then tomorrow. And if not, then the day after.. or the day after..or.. you get the picture right?

Then maybe we’ll get married, maybe not. Maybe we’ll live together forever, maybe not. I don’t want to sound pessimistic. However, life is a series of written chronicles, starting from the day we were born. I’m not going to chase after something that wasn’t written in my fate. I’m not going to dwell on the “what-ifs”.

I believe in fate, destiny, niseeb. If something is not meant to be, then it’s not meant to be.

But if it was meant to be, then that would be really lovely.

This lady is a strong believer in niseeb.

How about you?


Very.Q8ya said...

I believe in (niseeb) too. ذلك قول الله تعالى: "وعسى أن تكرهوا شيئا وهو خير لكم وعسى أن تحبوا شيئا وهو شر لكم والله يعلم وأنتم لا تعلمون" (سورة البقرة).

that was an amazing story, thanks for sharing

Marzouq said...

I could understand where your coming from, you can't let down your family and you can't choose your family either. Its a balance which you have to have o inshalla niseebich a7san min chithy.

It has happened before where things just don't work out.

In my case things once didn't work out and it wasn't in my hands. And all you can say is Kheera, but then you move on. As you said traditional marraiges aren't bad as long as you have that connection.

Kil shay ib eed Alah!

This Lady Says said...

very.q8ya: ur welcome. It feels good to get it off my chest.

marzouq: Definitely it should be a balance. But many times, the balance tips over to my family's favor.

But who knows, ili Allah katba biseer. And maybe its for the best.

Vixen said...

I totally know how you feel TOTALLY!! it's tough, but i'm guessing that what God has written for us will happen, and everything else we will get over sooner or later : )

chikapappi said...

Well.. We have to believe in Na9eeb bas am kinda Pessimistic...

enshallah your day comes soon :D

New Bride said...

mashalah 3aleeech walah it is hard to find girls like u nowadays o enshalah n9eebich bekoon one of the best men enshalaah

it is n9eeeeeeeb walah n9eeeeb

o veryq8ya is right

This Lady Says said...

vixen: Yup, that's why its called ni9eeb.. because its written.

chikapappi: don't be pessimistic like i was. it'll make u feel bitter and sad.

new bride: Thank u so much. wallah intay ili mako mithlich. When i read your blog, i truly wish that i'll be an understanding and kind wife like you :)

N. said...

That's harsh. To seperate the bonding (or possible there of) of two people who have the slightest interest in each other because of some family misunderstanding? I dunno what to say. I think that's tholm. And yeah, enshalla one day you'll get the niseeb you want and deserve.

We'll be waiting to hear that story! :)

This Lady Says said...

Actually, I didn't REALLY mind that my family wasn't happy about it, because there was no relationship to begin with.
But I really do wonder sometimes, how many people do I have to meet until I find "The One"..

I guess I just have to wait to find out ;)

Anonymous said...

Actually I believe that niseeb is not a choice, it is something you don't voluntarily believe in; it is the only option for many.

Its like the last bread in the basket, if you want bread, you have to eat it, and believe that its what god intended. Another person might look under the basket searching, another might just not eat it! And some might leave the table they are at and look for bread far away from their comfort zone!

Given what you said about family first and all, talking practically, neseeb is the only thing that can keep your hope for bread alive.

This Lady Says said...

I like what you said, anonymous.
I think that sometimes I do leave things to happen on their own, even if I do have another option.

But tell me, what if I do go and search for more bread? Or what if I dont take the bread at all?

Doesn't it mean that THAT was my niseeb? Meaning that my niseeb is to not have or find bread at all.

Amu said...

I never used to believe in it but life experiences thought me that really there is something called Naseeb; I used to go extra miles just to achieve what I want and sometimes its just not meant for me. Sometimes I would achieve it and then wont feel good about it. I would say I have achieved everything that is materialistic in my life but had a bad luck in LOVE. I hate family and arrange marriages so I dunno where my destiny will take me...

Zed said...

doesnt exist, you make your future, nasib is an old ladies myth

Rasheed's World said...


I'm writing a story about "The Kingdom" being banned in Kuwait and Bahrain for my newspaper Aarab News in Jeddah, Saudi Arabia.
I read your comments on the Hilaliya blog and would like to use them in my story.
My email address is rasheed@arabnews.com. I'm filing today, so if you could email ASAP that would be great!




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Very.Q8ya said...

3eeedich imbarak :*

amer said...

Lady, hope you are well.

You have been quoted in the 'Arab News' article on The Kingdom:

check here: http://www.hilaliya.com/2007/10/saudi-arab-news-kingdom-articl.html



Fayoora said...

I do believe in it to..
yet sometimes .. It plays smart on you. and you do have to chase it :/

Accord said...

Lady, really nice blog.
Do you read arabic?
If you do, I'd like to forward you these two posts from my blog.
They are about this same topic, and this same situation i'm living currently.

الزواج من علبة


الخطر القادم : العنوسة بين الذكور



This Lady Says said...

Amer, Thanks for telling me. I read it. It was insightful and straight to the point.

:::: SHAYOUMA :::: said...

This was lovely to read.. a very engaging simple way. I love the way you put it, naseeb and family. I would have done the same.. Still sometimes I think these family misunderstanding, not because of the marriage proposal, but generally I get annoyed, I don't know until when famillies will be angry at each other, brothers not talking.,. you know this sort of thing REALLY makes me sad.. Sorry went off from the main point lol..

This Lady Says said...

It's ok shayooma. I know what you mean. My situation is not the worst I've heard. It was really easy to get over. But others have hard times because of their expectations or because they were in relationships.

Our culture is just as complicated as it is simple. We just have to work with it, I guess.

a Dreamer with feet on the Floor said...

U never know ,when ,where ,how.when it comes It will envades U and occupies all Ur feelings..
so do not B sure U will keep that balance 4 ever , some day U will B have 2 choose...
I hope U will have the best as U R a good girl as I feel..
take care.

This Lady Says said...

Thank u :)